Years ago, when my Meg was about 2 years old, we were on the freeway in smoggy California; windows were down, music was on, makeup was on, baby girl was quiet and happy. In my mind I was nailing it. I had absolutely conquered the day and my mom-swagginess was in full effect. As I belted out the song, "Can't touch this", my eyes became fixed on the review mirror. My beautiful little Meg was content all right, content with the bottom of her shoe in her mouth, going to town licking and cleaning every last virus that had attached itself to it over it's lifetime. Let me just set the stage and let you know that I am a major germ-a-phobe so this was terrifying to me. To top it off, the bottom of one shoe had old gum stuck to it...nevertheless she persisted, God help me, she persisted alright. Unsucessfully, I tried to grab the shoe away from her. She won and once again I was reminded that although perfectionism is a sought after trait, my mom-moment brought me back to the reality that perfection, although desired, is an unattainable goal. Funny story right? One of those mom moments that I look back on and chuckle.
I don't know about you, but I have struggled with perfectionism since I was little. Perfectionism is something that without getting a handle on it can grow into an approval seeking cycle. The enemy LOVES to hang there. Because you see, if we are striving for the world's applause are eyes are fixed away from Jesus. Once the enemy has us there, he has a field day with imperfectionism and will bring on feelings of unworthiness and shame. What I have found is that this struggle displays a deep need to feel valued, to matter. That if we only can do it perfectly there will be acceptance, peace and security. In social media driven world that we live in, there is a desire to scrub our life of imperfections, only displaying the wins, the perfect selfie, the perfect family moment. It's a false reality that so many of us get caught trying to live up to.
What I want to challenge you all with is that embracing imperfection allows for Jesus to fill in.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
2 Corinthians 12:9
As a mom, I want my three little ladies to see that I am made perfect only in Christ. That imperfection is beautiful, relateable, real. If they live their life seeing me appear as perfect, always getting it right, always having the right answer, always having the perfect home, perfect meals, perfect schedule....they will grow up believing that that is the model to follow. I will have laid an expectation of world seeking approval; which is the opposit of what I want them to learn from me. I want them to know that it's okay to miss the mark, that Jesus will fill in those gaps.
Perfectly imperfect, this is where I want to be. Let's put aside the shame of not getting it right and create a new norm; where we embrace our flaws and are authentic about our struggles. Where we allow grace to flood our shame. Where we allow our tests to become testimonies. Are you with me?